Just a thought
I recently received this notice and was asked to forward it to all. Please be aware of it.
The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.
This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed "Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality," or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.
Some of the symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.
The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.
The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure.
Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
9. Self control
Please refer to the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Believers' Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus.
DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention!
Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may
contact the Father any time by 'Knee mail'.
Second Sunday Luncheon
Sunday, June 14th will be the date for our Second Sunday Pot Luck Luncheon. Everybody is invited and asked bring a dish to share. We will start right after services. Also, we are once again asking all who are able to bring non-perishable goods and cans of green vegetables and meat for our food bank.
Fishers of Men to Continue Through August
Catherine Minks thanks our Church Family's “Coins for God's Ministry” calling us to be “Fishers of Men”. The coins were blessed on Sunday, May 19th. Everyone heard the call and the coins jingled “Big Time”! It was really exciting to be to see the bags and cans of coins that were brought to the altar. When the counting was over $658.00 was given to the church to reach out to the least of our community. It was decided that we as a church should continue this program in August. Sooo, everybody start collecting your change and lets see if we can do better.
Church Pantry and Food Distribution
Please don't forget our Church pantry. We, currently serve 10 families on the second Tuesday and Fourth Friday of each month. Our brothers and sisters in the greater community are suffering and need help. Help keep our pantry stocked with your donations and God bless.
Administrative Council Met
United Methodist Women
The United Methodist Women will meet on the second Wednesday of the month convening at 2:00 pm. The meeting place will be the fellowship hall. If you would like to help in their different mission programs please join them in the fellowship hall at 2:00 PM.
United Methodist Men
The United Methodist Men will meet on July 20th at 8:00 am. Breakfast will be provided for all by our own Steve Johnson and Ray Dyer. There will be a devotional and a meeting after breakfast. All men of the church are invited to join us as we continue our year of reaching out. ________________________________________________________________
Sunday School is available each Sunday morning. The importance of Sunday School is that, though you may think hearing the word during the worship service will suffice for you, you really need to be in attendance at Sunday School to gather all the information that you can in an open discussion classroom. Jesus’ word cannot be totally understood just by listening to a sermon. You have to interact with it and with other Christians to learn what He was saying to us. This is a life long study and you should take part. Please plan on joining us to learn more about our Lord, Jesus Christ and the Word. The class is currently studying prayer using “Pray the Price” by Rev. Terry Teykl. We will be returning to our study on the early history of Christianity once we conclude our “Prayer Study.” Also, in the future we will look at studying Revelation by Dr. James “Mickey” Efird. We have a full calendar and look forward to all joining us on this journey of study and thought as we try to understand why we are Christians and what God’s Word means for us. Sunday School begins at 10:00 AM.
Celebrating birthdays this month:
Brett Clary, Vickie Evans, Stella Wright,
Johnna Fross, Bill Lynerd,
Happy Birthday from your church family.
Make a Joyful Noise
Yeah that’s the name of our choir. We will begin practicing in late August and are looking for volunteers who would like to make a joyful noise at our worship services. If you would like to join us, let Ed DiStefano know.
This is our newsletter. It is meant to be a way to communicate what your church is doing and what all the organizations are doing both in the congregation and the community. I will be sending this electronically via email and copies will be made available for those who need a printed copy.
There are many organizations within our church and I hope they would like to have their achievements, plans, and meetings made known to the entire church. It is my hope that they will ask one of their members to drop a short note as to what they doing each month. The line of communication in the church needs to be open and full of what we are doing at Olive Branch to make disciples in our area.
If you would like to send us something, please bring it to church or send me an email (firstname.lastname@example.org) and we will see that it gets published. Please, let’s keep our church informed on what we are doing. See you at church and God bless.
Note : Attached is the agreed upon cemetery guidelines of July 9th Council Meeting. Item 16 was edited to reflect the membership vows of the church for qualifying for a free plot in the cemetery.
Olive Branch United Methodist Church Cemetery Policy as edited by Cemetery Committee on July 10th 2013
This policy is designed for the protection of members of OBUMC. Family members of OBUMC, visitors, and contractors performing work within the Cemetery shall all be subject to this policy, amendments or alterations.
1.) The Cemetery committee will have the responsibility and the authority to administer this policy as
written, and approved by Council on 7/9/2013
2. ) All lots are subject to this policy. The word “lot” shall mean the land designated for the burial of one
person. The size shall be 4ft by 10 ft.
3.) All monuments, headstones, footstones, memorials or other types of markers are the responsibility of
the decedents family for care and maintenance
4.) A permanent marker is required for each lot. All temporary markers will be removed after six months
5.) No markers or fences may be placed around or at the corner of a family section or individual lot.
6.) Only one marker shall be placed for each lot. This may be a head or foot stone but not both.
7.) No stone without identification will be allowed.
8.) Only one remain per lot will be allowed. In case of cremation, there shall be no more than three remains per lot.
9.) Anyone digging a grave in the cemetery will be required to remove all excess dirt
10.) No planting or landscaping will be permitted.
11.) Flowers (real or artificial) may be placed in appropriate vases on memorial. However, wilted or
discolored flowers must be removed immediately
12.) Concrete vaults will be required for the internment in all burial sites, xcept when the deceased is
14.) A cemetery fund will be established with donations to be accepted and used for perpetual care of the cemetery.
15.) A cemetery lot will be provided free to any member in good standing. Any one else shall be assessed a fee of $2,000.00
16.) A member in good standing is any person who has been an active member at Olive Branch United
UMH pg 48. Any disabled member who was previously active shall also qualify.